This is how we do it: ‘I worried about his kinks, but I’m learning to relax and be playful’

For Marty, a 47-year-old divorced man, sex has taken on a new meaning with his 43-year-old partner Viv. He had previously found himself entangled in a complicated relationship with a friend who shared similar kinks before she moved abroad. The two had experienced a deep level of trust, intimacy, and physical connection that left Marty searching for something similar.

However, when he matched with Viv on Tinder, the dynamic changed dramatically. Their first few encounters were marked by gentle, affectionate sex, vastly different from his previous experiences. At first, Marty found himself comparing Viv's interactions to those of his ex-wife, who had gaslighted and controlled him financially for 10 years.

It was a jarring shift in perspective as he navigated this new chapter with someone who genuinely reciprocated his affection and offered something entirely different from what he'd experienced before. The experience left Marty wondering about the limitations of his expectations and how much room there was to explore beyond the confines of athleticism, lust, and intensity.

Viv's presence introduced a softer side to sex for Marty - one that emphasized generosity, trust, and a sense of mutual growth rather than solely focusing on physical prowess. It became clear that this newfound dynamic would challenge him to reevaluate his preconceptions about intimacy, love, and connection in relationships.

The couple had even ventured into buying sex shop items together, including a flogger, which Marty initially felt compelled to use but ultimately respected Viv's boundaries on the subject. What resonated most for both was their openness and willingness to communicate openly with each other - something that had been absent from previous encounters.

For Marty, his journey has been one of self-discovery, as he gradually lets go of arrogance stemming from past experiences and instead cultivates a more playful approach towards intimacy. The realization dawned on him that love and connection can manifest in many forms beyond what he had previously experienced, allowing for the possibility to grow and explore.

In contrast to Marty's transformative journey, Viv found herself rediscovering her own interest in sex as she reconnected with Marty. Her initial apprehensions about his kinks gave way to fascination and an openness to exploring new experiences together. This newfound connection offered a stark contrast to her previous experiences of feeling ashamed around sex and the impact it had on her life.

Through their relationship, both partners have navigated complex emotions and identities, challenging societal norms and redefining what love and intimacy mean in the modern era.

I don’t usually comment but I gotta say, this couple is giving me major feels Marty's journey from toxic relationships to finding love and connection with someone who actually gets him is a total game-changer. And Viv's self-discovery is even more inspiring - it's like she found her own sexy again Their willingness to communicate and explore together is a breath of fresh air in today’s dating world.

It's crazy how our expectations can shape us, right? Marty thought he knew what love and intimacy looked like, but Viv showed him that there's so much more to it. And I think that's what's so beautiful about their relationship - they're not just physically connected, but emotionally too They're redefining what love means in the modern era, and I am here for it

omg i'm so invested in Marty's story he's literally evolving as a person and it's beautiful to see him let go of his past toxic tendencies and learn to appreciate the beauty in vulnerability the way he's exploring sex with Viv is giving me all the feels - it's like they're creating their own language of intimacy and affection that's so unique and refreshing i love how they're challenging societal norms and redefining what love means, it's a reminder that relationships can be so much more than just physical connection and Marty's growth is a testament to the power of self-discovery and communication in any relationship

I gotta say, this couple is living their best lives ! They're like a breath of fresh air, showing us that sex doesn't have to be all about intensity and athleticism... sometimes it's just about feeling seen and understood with someone . I mean, who needs gaslighting when you can have open communication and mutual growth? It's crazy how much of an impact Viv had on Marty's perspective - he was stuck in this toxic mindset for so long, but now he's free to explore and learn new things about himself .

I'm also loving their approach to sex shopping together ! It's like, they're not afraid to try new things and support each other's desires. And it's so refreshing to see them prioritize emotional connection over physical prowess - it just goes to show that love and intimacy are way more than just about the bedroom .

I think this couple is proof that we can redefine what love and connection mean in the modern era . They're breaking down barriers and pushing boundaries, and I am HERE for it!

I don't usually comment but... I think its wild how people's expectations can change so much when they find someone who truly gets them . Marty's story is like a breath of fresh air - it shows that you don't have to be stuck in one way of doing things when it comes to intimacy and sex . And its awesome how he and Viv are open with each other about their boundaries and desires, that takes so much courage and trust . It's like they're saying "Hey, I'm not just looking for physical stuff, I want to feel seen and heard too" . Anyway, I think its great to see more people talking about this kind of stuff and being okay with exploring their own desires and identities

Marty's story got me thinking... I mean, who says you can't change with age? He thought he knew what sex was all about, but then met Viv and BAM! The whole thing shifted. I feel like we live in a world where everyone's so focused on what they think they're supposed to want that they forget to just enjoy the ride

And the kink thing? Same. Like, if you're into it, why not explore? It's all about communication and respect, right? The fact that Marty & Viv can just be themselves around each other is honestly really beautiful I mean, we need more of that in our lives.

But what really struck me was how they both had to let go of their own biases. Like, if you're used to something one way, it's hard to adjust to another way. But they made it work and now they're learning together

Marty's story is so inspiring , especially how he let go of his preconceived notions about sex and love. I mean, who needs intensity and athleticism when you can have generosity and trust? It's amazing how he and Viv found that softer side to intimacy together. They're proof that love and connection can take many forms.

I've gotta say, their openness and communication are key to their relationship . It's not always easy to talk about our desires and boundaries, but it sounds like they made a real effort to be vulnerable with each other. That's something we can all learn from.

And I love how Viv rediscovered her interest in sex . It's so often stigmatized or shamed, but Marty's story shows that it can be a beautiful and empowering experience when you're with the right person.

Their journey reminds us that relationships are about growth and exploration . We don't have to fit into societal norms or expectations; we can create our own paths and find what works for us. That's a really liberating thought

The way Marty's perspective on sex and relationships has shifted is crazy I mean, he went from being all about that intense, physical stuff to finding love and connection in a whole new way It's like, Viv introduced him to this softer side of intimacy that's all about trust, generosity, and mutual growth. And it's beautiful Seeing them explore together, buying sex shop items and communicating openly... it's like they're breaking free from all these societal norms and expectations

And what's wild is how both Marty and Viv have grown so much as individuals They've had to confront their own demons and reevaluate their preconceptions about love and connection. It's not just about the physical stuff, it's about building a real connection with someone It's like, they're showing us that love and intimacy can take many forms, and we shouldn't be afraid to explore and discover what works for us

I think this is such an important conversation to have We need more people talking about sex, relationships, and identity in a way that's open and honest. And it's awesome to see Marty and Viv leading the charge They're proof that love and connection can be so much more than just physical attraction

I'm really intrigued by Marty's story . It sounds like he was living in a world of his own making with his ex-wife, where sex was all about control and athleticism. But then he met Viv on Tinder and suddenly his whole perspective shifted . It's crazy how we can get so caught up in our own expectations and assumptions.

I love that Marty is slowly letting go of his arrogance and embracing a more playful approach to intimacy . It's not always easy to challenge our own preconceptions, but it sounds like he's really growing as a person. And Viv's journey is just as inspiring - she's rediscovering herself and her desires, which is amazing.

It's also interesting how they're redefining what love and intimacy mean in the modern era . They're not afraid to explore new things together and communicate openly about their boundaries. That takes a lot of courage and vulnerability . I'm rooting for this couple and hoping they continue to grow and learn together .

I gotta say, this is some wild stuff. I remember back in my day, we thought polyamory was just for hippies but now it's like the norm? People are so open to exploring their desires and boundaries. Marty's experience with Viv is like a breath of fresh air - he went from being stuck in this toxic cycle to finding someone who actually gets him .

It's crazy how much of a difference communication makes, right? These two were able to talk openly about their kinks and stuff, which made all the difference. I'm glad they're redefining what love and intimacy mean because that's something we should all be doing .

I also feel like this is a big deal for people who are still figuring out their identities or have been hurt in past relationships. It's okay to explore and experiment, you don't have to have it all figured out right away .

omg i feel so bad for marty he's been through some wild stuff with his ex-wife and it's great that viv is helping him heal but also like what if this is a better version of intimacy for him? maybe he doesn't need to be saved from athleticism & lust all the time lol anyway i love how they're buying sex shop items together - so open and communicative about their desires and it's honestly beautiful how they're learning to appreciate each other's kinks without judgment. can we talk about how liberating it is to explore your own identity and boundaries in a relationship?

Mmm this thing about sex and expectations is so deep ... like how Marty thought he knew what he wanted but really he was just stuck on past stuff . It's all about communication and being open with your partner, you know? And it's not just about the physical stuff either, it's about emotional connection and trust .

I mean, Viv is a total game changer for Marty, she's like a breath of fresh air in his life . She makes him see that sex can be so much more than just athleticism or lust, you know? It's about mutual growth and generosity .

And I love how they're both on this journey of self-discovery together . Like, Marty is finally letting go of all the arrogance he had from past experiences and it's amazing to see him be more playful and open with Viv . And Viv, she's finding herself again, rediscovering her own desires and interests .

It's crazy how love and connection can be so different for everyone, but that's what makes it so beautiful . They're redefining what love means in the modern era, breaking free from societal norms and expectations .

I was just thinking about my cat's favorite toy the other day... it's this little squeaky mouse that she goes absolutely nuts for . Anyway, Marty's story got me thinking, have you ever noticed how our expectations of relationships can get pretty skewed? Like, we think we know what love should be like based on movies or books, but then real life comes along and it's all different. I had a friend who was trying to figure out this whole kink thing and it ended up being super liberating for her. Maybe we just need to keep an open mind (and a few sex shop items handy)

I think its pretty cool how these two people are figuring out what works for them in this whole open kink thing. Marty's been through some stuff and he thought he knew what sex was all about, but then Viv comes along and shows him that there's more to it than just athleticism and intensity . Its not always easy to talk about this stuff, especially when you've got a lot of baggage from past relationships, but they're making it work and thats something to be proud of .

Also, I think its really refreshing to see two people who are into the same thing being able to have an open conversation about their desires without any judgment. No more hiding or pretending to be someone you're not . They're just being honest with each other and it's paid off in a big way. Its like they're creating this whole new language of love and intimacy that's all about mutual respect and trust .

For me, what I find really interesting is how Marty is learning to let go of his arrogance and be more playful in the bedroom . It's not always easy to admit when you don't know something or are out of your comfort zone, but it sounds like he's really growing as a person and that's something to celebrate .

Anyway, its definitely an inspiring story and I love how they're redefining what love and intimacy mean in the modern era .

Lol what's up with this couple Marty & Viv?? They're like total opposites but somehow make it work! I'm lowkey kinda jealous they seem to have found that perfect balance of affection, trust, and... let's be real, kinks. It's wild how much room there is to explore in relationships, right? And can we talk about how refreshing it is for someone like Marty to let go of his ego and just enjoy the ride? I mean, who needs intensity when you can have generosity & mutual growth?

I'M SO GLAD TO SEE MARTY FINDING HIS FEET AGAIN IN THIS NEW RELATIONSHIP! HE'S BEEN THROUGH SOME TURBULENT TIMES BEFORE AND IT'S AWESOME THAT HE'S FOUND SOMEBODY WHO GETS HIM FOR WHO HE IS - KINKS AND ALL. viv is a total angel, man! i love how she's helped marty see that there's more to intimacy than just the physical stuff. it's all about connection and trust and being open with each other. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AMAZING IT IS THAT THEY'RE BUYING sex shop items TOGETHER?! it's like they're having the most fun ever! i'm really happy for these two, they seem like they're meant to be. Marty's journey is all about self-discovery and growth, and viv is right by his side every step of the way. it's beautiful to see them navigate their feelings and identities together.

OMG, this guy Marty is like, totally taking a journey of self-discovery... and by that I mean he's finally figuring out that there's more to sex than just being a sweaty gym session with someone who won't ghost you 5 minutes after it's over . Like, who wouldn't want to try new things and explore intimacy in all its forms? It's about time he ditched the whole 'gaslighting ex-wife' vibe and found someone who doesn't suck all the love out of him .

And can we talk about how refreshing it is to see a couple that actually communicates and has each other's backs? Like, no more hiding behind awkward silences or pretending everything is fine when it's not . They're basically the ultimate adulting goals... even if they do buy floggers together . All in all, I'm rooting for Marty and Viv - may their love continue to be a soft, squishy, and utterly adorable mess

Tinder's algorithms are still super wonky ... Marty was stuck in this toxic dynamic with his ex for 10 years and then BAM! He matches with Viv and suddenly sex is all about affection and trust? Like, I get it, people evolve, but the way they matched him up is still weird. And don't even get me started on the fact that he felt compelled to buy a flogger just because his partner said no ... It's not like I'm against kink or anything, but come on. The good news is that Marty and Viv are killing it in their relationship, but seriously, how do we know the app didn't mess him up for someone else?

I cant help but feel for Marty, he was stuck in this toxic cycle of expecting sex to be all about intensity & control... its so refreshing to see him let go of that and find a softer side with Viv Their dynamic is literally like night & day, it's amazing how sex can take on different forms depending on the person you're with. I'm glad they're open with each other about their desires & boundaries It's also cool to see Viv finding her confidence around sex again... she deserves that freedom