My wife and I don’t have sex and she refuses to talk about it. Should I just give up?

A marriage built on silence and shame: the devastating cost of a sexless relationship.

For over 10 years, Sarah and her husband have been navigating the ups and downs of life together, but beneath the surface, their relationship has become emotionally barren. The absence of sex and physical intimacy has left Sarah feeling unattractive, ashamed, and longing for connection. Despite her deep love for her husband, she's lost touch with her own desires, forced to initiate every intimate encounter.

The problem is not just about physical intimacy; it's a symptom of a deeper issue that has been swept under the rug in their couples therapy sessions. Sex should be a fundamental aspect of any relationship, but when it's ignored or avoided, the consequences can be devastating. "I feel like I'm dying inside," Sarah confesses, her words echoing the desperation and sadness that often accompanies unaddressed longings.

Sarah's experience is far from unique. Many couples struggle with intimacy issues, but rarely do they receive the support and guidance they need to address these problems. Couples therapy can be a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings and desires, but it's clear that Sarah and her husband have hit a roadblock.

The question on everyone's mind is: what happens when you feel like giving up? Can you truly move forward in a relationship without addressing the deep-seated issues that are holding you back? The answer lies not in surrendering to your feelings of shame but in seeking help, support, and understanding.

As Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a US-based psychotherapist specializing in treating sexual disorders, notes, "Sex is often an expression of our entire relationship... It can be difficult to bring up and discuss, but clearly you have strong feelings about the lack of intimacy, and are obviously sad and imbued with longing." The silence that has descended upon Sarah's marriage needs to be broken. She deserves to feel heard, seen, and understood – not just her husband, but herself.

If you're struggling in your own relationship, it's essential to remember that you're not alone. There is help available, and seeking support can be a powerful step towards healing and growth. The decision to persevere or give up should never be made lightly, but with the right guidance and support, even the most seemingly insurmountable problems can begin to unravel.

I'm so sad for Sarah, it's like she's lost herself in her marriage . I mean, sex is a huge part of any relationship, and when it's not happening, it's like there's this gaping hole that can't be filled. It's not just about physical intimacy, it's about feeling connected and understood on a deeper level.

I think couples therapy is a great start, but sometimes you need more than just talking things through . You need someone to hold your hand and guide you through the tough stuff. And honestly, I don't blame Sarah for feeling like she's dying inside . It's a really scary place to be.

I hope Sarah finds the help she needs and that her husband can learn to listen and support her in a way that makes her feel seen and heard . And to anyone else out there who's struggling, don't give up! There are people who care and want to help .

ugh, this article is giving me major feels . i mean, who hasn't felt like they're dying inside from a sexless relationship? it's not just about the physical intimacy, it's about feeling seen and heard in your own marriage. couples therapy can be super helpful, but it sounds like sarah and her husband have hit a roadblock . the thing that gets me is how shame and silence can suffocate a relationship and make you feel like you're going crazy . i think we need to prioritize open and honest communication in our relationships, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy . it's not about being 'good' or 'bad', it's about being human and feeling connected with your partner .

i'm really worried about ppl in sexless relationships. like, why is it so common? shouldn't couples therapy be doing more to help ppl work through these issues? also, what's the deal with couples not talking about intimacy? isn't it a part of the relationship by default? gotta read more about this tho, can someone pls share some stats on how common this is? want to see if its really 1 in 10 ppl or just me being paranoid

I'm so concerned about Sarah's situation . A sexless relationship is not just a natural part of some couples' journey, it sounds like they've been actively avoiding the issue for years. I mean, what's next? Are they gonna start avoiding conversations altogether too? And the fact that their therapy sessions have become a "safe space" but still haven't addressed the problem is concerning to me. Where are these therapists getting their training from? What's the criteria for them to be considered an expert in this field?

And what's with all the hand-wringing about how hard it is to talk about intimacy issues? Can we please just have some concrete examples of couples who've successfully navigated these challenges without resorting to "surrendering to feelings of shame"? I need to see some actual data or research on this stuff. It's not just a feel-good story, you know?

sexless relationships are soooo not healthy i feel like i'd be miserable too if my partner was ignoring my needs like that what's worse is that they're not even trying to fix it, just sweeping it under the rug couples therapy should be more than just a surface-level discussion, it should be about actual change and support for both partners, not just one sarah's story is a reminder that we need to prioritize our own feelings and desires in relationships otherwise, it's easy to get stuck in the same old patterns of shame and silence

This article highlights how often sexless relationships go unnoticed and unaddressed, leading to feelings of shame and desperation for connection It's like there's this huge elephant in the room, nobody wants to talk about it . The fact that couples therapy sessions have become a safe space for people to express themselves is already amazing but sometimes we need more than just a listening ear, we need help breaking down those barriers . I think what's really important here is acknowledging our desires and making space for open conversations . If you're struggling in your relationship, don't be afraid to reach out and seek help - it might be the turning point you need

ugh, 10 yrs of silence & shame? that's like, a whole decade of toxic emotions not being addressed lol idk what's more cringeworthy, sarah feeling unattractive or her hubby just being straight up neglectful i mean, sex is def not just about physical intimacy, it's about emotional connection & vulnerability too... if u r struggling in ur own relationship, seek help 4sho! but can we pls talk abt how couples therapy sessions r supposed 2 work 2? like, don't they provide any actual tools 4 ppl 2 overcome these issues??

I'm so sad for Sarah, it's like she's been living in a nightmare her silence and shame are suffocating her, literally it's time for us to break the stigma around sex and intimacy in relationships - every couple deserves to feel seen and heard! if they can't have an open conversation, then maybe they shouldn't be together, period #SexIsKeyToRelationships #IntimacyMatters #BreakTheSilence

Did u no that 1 in 5 couples experience some form of intimacy issues? And its not just about sex, but also emotional connection & communication! The stats show that 70% of men & 85% of women feel pressure to be intimate all the time. Like, who can handle that stress?! Women are more likely to feel isolated in their feelings, with only 30% reporting they've talked openly about sex with their partner. Meanwhile, a study by the American Association of Sexuality Educators found that 40% of men experience performance anxiety, which can lead to ED (erectile dysfunction).

A survey conducted by Match.com in 2020 revealed that the average couple has sex only 1-2 times per week. That's not a healthy relationship if u ask me! The breakdown is: 60% of women feel pressure from their partner to initiate sex, while 45% say they don't discuss intimacy with their partner at all. No wonder Sarah feels like she's dying inside!

Couples therapy is key, imo! It can help you both communicate your desires & work through issues before it's too late. Don't be afraid to seek help – it's a sign of strength, not weakness!

couples therapy sessions are super helpful but some ppl r just too ashamed 2 talk about their feelings & desires its like they dont wanna ruin the illusion of a perfect marriage even tho that perfect image is actually suffocating them

i feel bad for sarah she sounds so lost and alone in her relationship its like she's lost herself in the process of trying 2 maintain this fake sense of normalcy

u no how hard it is 2 find ppl who r willing 2 listen 2 u without judgment when all u wanna do is scream about how empty ur marriage feels

ugh this is so heartbreaking I feel like we're living in a time where relationships are all about pretending everything is fine when it's not. I mean, how many of us have been there where you just feel so disconnected from your partner and don't know how to bring it up? The shame and guilt that comes with even thinking about it is exhausting. Can't we just talk about this stuff without feeling like we're going to be judged? I wish people knew that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. And honestly, who needs couples therapy if you can't even have a real conversation about what's going on in your relationship?

I feel so bad for Sarah her situation is heartbreaking... it's like she's lost touch with herself in that relationship. I think it's really sad that couples therapy isn't being effective for them, it's like they're stuck. You know what might help? Communicating openly and honestly about their feelings and desires, not just the surface-level stuff but really digging deep into why sex has stopped being a thing for them. And seeking outside help if they need it, like couples counseling or therapy specifically for intimacy issues. It's not easy to talk about this stuff, but I think it's so important for relationships to be healthy and fulfilling

"Sexless relationships are like unlit candles – they may seem fine on the surface, but without attention, they can burn out completely "

OMG, can you believe this ? A 10-yr marriage and it's all about silence & shame ? I mean, sex is a huge part of any relationship, but when it's ignored or avoided, it can lead to some major issues . It's not just about physical intimacy, it's emotional too .

I feel for Sarah, she's been feeling so unattractive & ashamed . But honestly, who hasn't been there at some point? We need to talk more about this stuff in couples therapy, not less . It's time to break the silence and get real about our feelings .

I'm all for seeking help & support, it's not selfish, it's necessary . If you're struggling like Sarah, don't give up hope! There are people who care & want to help . Let's spread awareness & get the convo started #RelationshipGoals #SexTalk #MentalHealthMatters

ugh just reading about this couple sounds like such a draining cycle... all that shame & guilt they're carrying around is toxic if ur in a relationship nd its gettin stale, i think it's time 2 talk 2 someone not ignore the problem or pretend it doesn't exist. seek help, support, & understanding – ur worth it

I think it's so sad that Sarah feels like she's dying inside because of her sexless relationship. It's not just about physical intimacy, it's about feeling connected and understood by your partner. The fact that they're not talking about it in therapy is a huge problem - couples therapy should be a safe space for both partners to express themselves without fear of judgment.

We need to create more open conversations around sex and relationships, especially in our culture where "communication" often means avoiding the elephant in the room. It's time to break down that silence and shame surrounding intimacy issues. We shouldn't have to feel ashamed about not being fulfilled in our relationships. The fact that Sarah is struggling alone is a testament to how common this problem is, and we need to support her (and others like her) more.

Let's talk openly about sex, desires, and feelings without fear of being judged or rejected. We can create healthier, happier relationships by doing so.

I feel so bad for Sarah, she sounds like she's been living in a nightmare . I mean, 10 years is a long time to be feeling this way, it's like her marriage has just become a habit or something . And the shame part, that's really tough to deal with. I think it's interesting how Pamela says sex can be hard to talk about, but if you have strong feelings about it, you should at least try to bring them up .

It makes sense that couples therapy might not always work out, especially if the issues run deep. But it's good to know there are people like Pamela who care and want to help . I think Sarah needs some serious support and maybe even some counseling outside of her regular sessions too . And honestly, even if she doesn't find a way to fix things with her husband, that doesn't mean she's doomed to be alone forever . There are tons of people out there who care about relationships and want to help make them stronger .