Millennial dads are experiencing something mums have known for a long time | Gaby Hinsliff

Millennial fathers, often seen as the beneficiaries of the 'equal parenting' revolution that supposedly ushered in an era of shared responsibilities between men and women, are actually struggling with the same tired dynamics that have plagued working mothers for years. The latest survey from Working Families reveals that three-quarters of dads want to share the parenting load equally with their partners, yet many still face ridicule, skepticism, and even outright hostility when they try to take time off work or advocate for flexibility.

The issue isn't new, but it's far from resolved either. Women have been fighting for equal rights and fair treatment in the workplace for decades, only to see men step up, albeit begrudgingly. The government has already pledged a review of parental leave, which could be a crucial step forward, but it will only achieve its goals if fathers feel they can take advantage without being penalized.

The problem lies in societal expectations and the lingering suspicion that men are somehow less capable or less deserving than women. This is perpetuated by the lazy assumption that mothers are the default caregivers and that dads are only reluctantly dragged into parenthood. The statistics bear this out: men still spend only two-thirds of the time women do on unpaid childcare, and many young fathers feel torn between their own desires for flexibility and the pressure to be a breadwinner.

The recent survey from YouGov paints a similar picture, revealing that millennial men are often caught between feelings of resentment and inadequacy, with many believing that life was better for men 25 years ago. This is reflected in the worrying trend of women-only clubs and support groups, where mothers commiserate about their own struggles while fathers struggle to find a place at the table.

The irony is that both men and women are fighting the same battles, albeit with different expectations and pressures. It's time for us to recognize this and start working together towards a more inclusive and equitable society. By acknowledging our shared struggles and supporting each other, we can begin to dismantle the toxic stereotypes and biases that have held us back for so long.

Ultimately, it comes down to men taking ownership of their roles as fathers and partners. It's not about being 'the main breadwinner' or assuming that women are somehow better equipped to handle childcare; it's about being present, flexible, and willing to share the load. As one father put it, "I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing enough. I want to be there for my kids and support my partner, but I feel like I'm stuck in this rut."

This is a battle that requires solidarity, empathy, and a willingness to challenge our own biases and assumptions. By working together, we can create a more equal and compassionate society where everyone – not just women or mothers – has access to the support and resources they need to thrive as caregivers, partners, and individuals.

I'm so over the fact that dads are still facing ridicule for trying to take care of their kids. Like, what's wrong with wanting to be involved in your own child's life? The whole "dads should just be breadwinners" thing is so outdated and sexist. Newsflash: men can do both! And another thing that gets me - why are women-only clubs for moms still a thing? Can't we all just get along and support each other regardless of gender? We need to break down these toxic stereotypes and biases, especially when it comes to fatherhood. It's time for men to step up and take ownership of their roles as partners and dads. Let's create a more inclusive society where everyone feels like they can be present and involved in their kids' lives without fear of judgment or ridicule.

I mean can you believe it? These millennial dads are literally struggling with the same stuff that working moms have been dealing with for years . Like three-quarters of them wanna share the parenting load equally but still face all this crap when they try to take time off work or ask for flexibility . It's not like we're making any progress here, you know? The gov has already said they're gonna review parental leave which is a good start I guess but it's only gonna happen if dads feel safe enough to take advantage without getting penalized.

The problem is these stupid societal expectations and the lingering suspicion that men are less capable or deserving than women . We still think moms are the default caregivers and dads are just dragged into parenthood like it's some kind of chore . The stats show this too - guys still spend way less time on unpaid childcare than moms and many young fathers feel torn between their own desires for flexibility and the pressure to be a breadwinner.

It's wild that these recent surveys from YouGov show millennial men are stuck between feelings of resentment and inadequacy . They're like "life was better 25 years ago" and it's reflected in all these women-only clubs and support groups where moms just vent about their own struggles while dads can't even get a seat at the table.

The irony is that both men and women are fighting the same battles but with different expectations and pressures . We need to recognize this and start working together towards a more inclusive and equitable society . It's not about being the main breadwinner or assuming moms are better equipped for childcare, it's about being present, flexible and willing to share the load .

These dads just wanna be there for their kids and support their partners but they feel stuck in this rut . This is a battle that requires solidarity, empathy and challenging our own biases and assumptions . By working together we can create a more equal and compassionate society where everyone has access to the support and resources they need to thrive as caregivers, partners and individuals .

I think people are still hung up on traditional masculine ideals like being the breadwinner, even though times have changed. Like, newsflash: men can be great at both parenting and providing for the family! It's not a zero-sum game where one has to win or lose. We need to break free from these outdated stereotypes and support dads who want to take on more caregiving responsibilities. It's all about creating a more inclusive society where everyone feels comfortable sharing the load, regardless of gender.

I'm so tired of this whole 'equal parenting' thing... It sounds great on paper, but in reality, it's still super tough for guys like me who want to share the responsibilities without getting ridiculed or penalized at work . I mean, I've seen my wife struggle with this stuff for years and now I'm facing the same issues as working moms? It's just not fair .

And don't even get me started on societal expectations... it's like, we're still expected to be these 'breadwinners' who are only dragged into parenthood, while women are seen as the default caregivers . Newsflash: men can care for kids too! It's not about being 'less capable', it's just about being flexible and present .

I'm so sick of seeing these 'women-only clubs' popping up while dads are left feeling like they don't belong . Can't we all just support each other here? It's time for us to take ownership of our roles as partners and fathers, not just assume that women will do it all . I want to be there for my kids, support my partner, but I feel like I'm stuck in this rut...

I feel bad for these millennial dads ... They're just trying to do their part, but it's like no one gives them a break. I mean, come on, guys! You want equal parenting time? That's awesome! But instead of supporting each other, we've got women-only clubs and all that. It's not fair to the dads who are already struggling. We need to recognize that men can be caregivers too ... They just might need a little more support and understanding. And yeah, I get why some people might feel like life was better 25 years ago, but times have changed, and we've got to adapt. It's all about being present and flexible as parents, not trying to one-up each other . We need to break down these stereotypes and biases, for real!

I'm so done with the double standards in parenting! Like, I get it, mums have been fighting for equality in the workplace and all that jazz , but dads are still getting roasted for taking time off or trying to be involved in childcare. It's like, hello, we're not asking for much, just a bit of understanding and flexibility .

I mean, I'm living it too, guys! My partner is always on me about being more present and involved in our kid's life, but when I try to have that conversation with her, she just gives me the side-eye . It's like, we're supposed to be partners, not adversaries!

I think it's time we break down these toxic stereotypes and biases . We need to recognize that dads are just as capable and deserving of support as mums. And let's be real, having women-only clubs and support groups is cute, but what about the dudes who are struggling too?

It's all about finding that middle ground and working together . I want to be a present and involved dad, not just some absentee breadwinner . And I'm sure my partner feels the same way . Let's create a more inclusive and compassionate society where everyone can thrive as caregivers, partners, and individuals .

I'm tired of feeling like I'm stuck in this rut too . Time to break free from these biases and expectations . Who's with me?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around how even though men want to share parenting duties, they're often shamed for taking time off or asking for flexibility . It's like, we've made progress in getting dads to be more involved, but it feels like we're still stuck in this expectation that men are just "breadwinners" and women are the ones who care for the kids . I think it's time for us to recognize that both men and women have a role to play here and that we need to start supporting each other more, not just women or mothers . It's not about being equal, but about being present and willing to share the load .

men r gettin shafted again , but why do we still assume dads cant handle childcare? its like we're stuck in a time warp , where moms are the default caregivers and dads are just along for the ride . newsflash: dads wanna be there too! , they just need some support and flexibility to do it right . lets break down those toxic stereotypes and biases and recognize that we're all in this together . we need more men owning up to their roles as partners and dads , not more women-only clubs and support groups . its time for a change , and its gonna take some serious solidarity and empathy from everyone!

I think it's ridiculous that people are expecting dads to magically step up without any pushback. Like, come on guys, you're only starting to take this seriously now? I mean, 3/4 of dads want equal parenting, but do they really expect that just because they say so, everyone will magically listen? Newsflash: just because it's not your job doesn't make you qualified for the job . And another thing, if women are starting clubs and support groups to deal with their own struggles, why can't men have similar spaces where they can vent about being stuck in this "rut"? It's time for some balance, not more complaining about how hard it is to be a dad

omg this is so true like i know these millennial dads who are literally fighting an uphill battle to be seen as equals in parenting and it's not just about taking time off work, it's about being willing to step up and take care of the kids too . i feel for them, they're just trying to do what's best for their families but society is still perpetuating this toxic narrative that dads are only "reluctant" or " secondary" caregivers. newsflash: having a kid doesn't magically make you a better person just because you're the dad . i wish more people could understand that and give these guys some credit for being willing to step up and be involved parents

the whole thing is so messed up it's like men are expected to be these super dads who are always available and willing to take time off work, but really they're just as struggling as women when it comes to balancing parenting and career. and don't even get me started on the societal expectations - it's like we're supposed to believe that moms are inherently better caregivers or something and meanwhile, men are still stuck with these ridiculous stereotypes of being the "main breadwinner". it's time for a change!

I'm so frustrated with how dads are always seen like they're getting away scot-free . I mean, sure, some dads are super supportive and all that, but what about the ones who aren't? The ones who think it's all on their partner to manage the kids and household? It's just not cool, you know? And don't even get me started on how much pressure they feel to be this perfect provider . Like, what if they can't do that? What if they need help too?

I've had friends who are dads and they're literally crying themselves to sleep because they feel like they're not doing enough . And it's not just them, it's the whole society thing - we still expect men to be all self-sufficient and stoic, but that's not real life . We need to start seeing dads as caregivers too, you know? Not just 'the breadwinner' or whatever .

We should be working together more, supporting each other instead of pitting men against women . I mean, we're all in this together - parenting, relationships, work stuff... it's not like one person can do it all alone . Let's make sure everyone has access to the resources they need, whether that's parental leave or just a listening ear .

I'm telling you, it's all about the patriarchy . They want us to believe that men are weak and can't handle a few things, so they're always trying to keep them in their place . And don't even get me started on this "breadwinner" thing – it's just an excuse for guys to feel like they're not doing enough . Newsflash: being a good partner and dad isn't about making a certain amount of money, it's about being present and involved .

And have you seen those women-only clubs and support groups? It's like they're trying to create an "us vs. them" mentality . I mean, don't get me wrong, women do need support, but guys are struggling too, and we need that same kind of support .

It's all about breaking down these toxic stereotypes and biases . We need to start seeing men as caregivers and partners, not just as providers . And we need to support each other, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman . It's time for us to take ownership of our roles and work together towards a more inclusive society . Trust me, it's all about the patriarchy, but I guess that's a topic for another convo .

Guys, I think it's time for us to face the reality that parenting is a team effort! We've been expecting dads to be these rockstars who just magically know how to do everything, but really, we're all in this together .

I mean, have you noticed how hard it is for men to take a break from work without being judged or seen as weak? It's like, dude, you're trying to take care of your kid and support your partner, not hurt anyone's feelings!

And don't even get me started on the whole "dads are supposed to be breadwinners" thing. Like, what happened to "we're in this together"? It's time for us to rethink our expectations and start valuing flexibility, communication, and mutual support.

I've seen so many dad friends struggle with these feelings of inadequacy and resentment, and it's heartbreaking . We need to create spaces where men can feel comfortable sharing their struggles and finding support, rather than being ostracized or blamed for not meeting societal expectations.

Ultimately, it's about men taking ownership of their roles as partners and caregivers. Let's stop making assumptions and stereotypes, and start having real conversations about what works for each family.

the thing is, ppl are always like "oh men should be able to just step up and be better dads" but its not that easy... theres a lot of societal pressure on moms to be the primary caregivers, which can make it hard for dads to feel like they're doing their part. and then there's the expectation that dads are gonna be the main breadwinners, which is a weighty responsibility that can take away from their ability to be present and involved in childcare. we need to find ways to make it more inclusive and flexible for everyone, not just women or moms... its about being willing to share the load and support each other, rather than judging ppl based on outdated stereotypes

I'm so frustrated for these dads who are feeling like they're stuck in the old way of doing things . It's like they're being told that being a good partner and dad means sacrificing your own needs and desires just because you're a man . I mean, can't we just break free from these toxic stereotypes and support each other instead? It's not like women are perfect, either - they have their own struggles and biases too .

I think it's amazing that dads are speaking up and sharing their stories, because that's the first step to change . And yeah, the government review of parental leave is a great start, but we need to see real action on this . It's not just about giving men more time off or flexibility - it's about recognizing that caregiving is a shared responsibility and that both partners should be able to contribute in their own ways .

I'm so tired of seeing women-only clubs and support groups, too . Like, can't we have a space where dads can commiserate and find support without feeling like they're not welcome? It's time for us to break down these barriers and start building a more inclusive community . We need to recognize that everyone has their own struggles and biases, and that by working together, we can create a more equal and compassionate society .

Umm yeah I feel like... dads getting mad at moms is kinda weird I mean if you want to be involved in your kid's life then just try, right? It's not that hard And what's with all these women-only clubs tho? Can't we just have a big group chat or something like, for real? I'm still trying to figure out how to use Discord btw...

dads are feeling the same stress as moms men want to be involved in parenting but get weird looks when trying to take time off society still expects mom to do all the childcare why can't we just share the load? the recent survey says 75% of dads want equal parenting but are still getting ridiculed it's time for us to recognize our shared struggles and support each other https://www.workingfamilies.org/polls/millennial-fathers-face-stigma-for-taking-parental-leave/

I mean, think about it , millennial dads are struggling with the same stuff that working moms were dealing with like 20 years ago , but we never really talk about how hard it is for guys to be involved in parenting ...

It's just not fair that ppl still doubt guys' ability to take care of kids or work from home , and it's even worse when they get ridiculed or judged . Women are always fighting for equal rights, but men are supposed to be all like "oh yeah, I got this" ...

We need to stop assuming that moms are the default caregivers and that dads just tag along , 'cause that's not true ... And it's so frustrating when ppl think life was better 25 years ago for guys , but honestly, life was never great for anyone back then .

I love how there are women-only clubs and support groups, but we need more spaces for dads to vent and get support too ... It's time for us to acknowledge that both men and women are fighting the same battles, but with different expectations and pressures ...

We just need guys to own up to their roles as fathers and partners , be present, flexible, and willing to share the load ... No more feeling stuck in a rut or doubting yourself !