Warning given to children may be torn apart in brutal custody battles. A writer was warned that her children would be 'ripped in half' during a divorce but had no idea the brutality of custody cases lay ahead.
The writer, who is fighting for custody of her two children after a six-month separation from her partner, felt like she was being judged as a mother and woman during the court proceedings. She also read about similar cases involving women like George Sand, Caroline Norton and Alice Walker.
The idea of "parental alienation" introduced by American child psychiatrist Richard A Gardner in 1985 has been used to characterize mothers who are seen as rejecting their fathers. The writer believes that this concept is often misused to vilify women.
In one court case, a mother was accused of being too harsh and not showing enough affection towards her daughter. The father had bought expensive gifts for his daughter but the mother felt that these were just attempts to manipulate her.
The judge's decision ultimately went in favor of the father who was found to have been more emotionally available and involved in his daughter's life. The mother's parental responsibility was restricted, and she would only see her daughter four nights a fortnight.
The writer believes that this is a classic example of how mothers are often made to feel guilty for showing love and affection towards their children, while fathers get away with being distant or even abusive.
There are campaigns underway to change the laws surrounding custody cases, including the introduction of domestic abuse as a reason for parental alienation to be ruled out. However, the writer believes that more needs to be done to give mothers and children agency in these situations.
The writer, who is fighting for custody of her two children after a six-month separation from her partner, felt like she was being judged as a mother and woman during the court proceedings. She also read about similar cases involving women like George Sand, Caroline Norton and Alice Walker.
The idea of "parental alienation" introduced by American child psychiatrist Richard A Gardner in 1985 has been used to characterize mothers who are seen as rejecting their fathers. The writer believes that this concept is often misused to vilify women.
In one court case, a mother was accused of being too harsh and not showing enough affection towards her daughter. The father had bought expensive gifts for his daughter but the mother felt that these were just attempts to manipulate her.
The judge's decision ultimately went in favor of the father who was found to have been more emotionally available and involved in his daughter's life. The mother's parental responsibility was restricted, and she would only see her daughter four nights a fortnight.
The writer believes that this is a classic example of how mothers are often made to feel guilty for showing love and affection towards their children, while fathers get away with being distant or even abusive.
There are campaigns underway to change the laws surrounding custody cases, including the introduction of domestic abuse as a reason for parental alienation to be ruled out. However, the writer believes that more needs to be done to give mothers and children agency in these situations.
. it's like, dads get a free pass just 'cause they're involved in their kids' lives... newsflash: that doesn't mean the kids aren't hurting, either! 
. anyway, i'm so glad there are people fighting for change & trying to level the playing field - moms deserve so much better than this 
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. I'm not surprised, though. These custody battles are just another example of how men get a free pass when it comes to being involved in their kids' lives. The idea of "parental alienation" sounds like just an excuse for judges to go easy on the dads and punish the moms. And don't even get me started on the whole "emotionally available" thing - like, what does that even mean? Is that just a way to dismiss all the emotional labor women do as caregivers? And the fact that this mom was only allowed to see her daughter four nights a fortnight is insane 
. It's like, hello, she's still got feelings too, you know?
. I mean, who gets to decide what love and affection look like for a kid, anyway? And why are mothers always made to feel guilty about showing their kids the care and attention they deserve?
. Meanwhile, he was the one who abandoned them in the first place! It's all about perception vs reality here 
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. I mean, what about when the father is actually the one who's emotionally unavailable or even abusive? Does no one care about that? 
. We need more laws protecting mothers and kids from being manipulated by their exes. It's not fair that women have to be seen as "too harsh" or "not affectionate enough" just because they're trying to prioritize their own child's needs 
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- we need to be careful not to let personal biases sway our opinions when it comes to custody battles. The idea of "parental alienation" can be a real problem, especially if it's used to deflect blame from abusive parents. I mean, who hasn't heard of stories like that of George Sand and Caroline Norton? 
it's not even fair. And don't even get me started on parental alienation - it's like they're using that term to basically say "you're crazy for loving your own kids". I mean what about when the dads are the ones being distant or emotionally abusive? Who gets judged then? It just doesn't seem right 
The concept of "parental alienation" is super problematic - it's been shown to be used to manipulate women into giving up their rights as parents. 
In fact, a study found that 76% of mothers who reported experiencing parental alienation also experienced domestic abuse. 
. It's like, hello! A mother loves her child, that's not something to be ashamed of. The idea of "parental alienation" is a total myth perpetuated by dads who want to control their kids without having to pay child support 
. We need to change the laws and give moms more agency in these cases, period 
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. The concept of "parental alienation" sounds legit at first, but it's being misused to shame women who just want what's best for their families 
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The "parental alienation" concept is definitely problematic - I've seen stats showing it's used in over 90% of high-conflict cases against mothers. And yeah, the idea that moms who show love and affection towards their kids are being "manipulative" is a total myth. 
this is so sad, can't believe how harshly some dads are treated during custody battles... it's like they're supposed to just magically become good parents after a breakup? 
And that whole "parental alienation" thing? 
The writer in this story is right, we need to give mothers and children more agency in these situations. We can't just rely on the "father" being more emotionally available as a reason for them getting the custody. That's just not fair. 
. Can't we just get along for our kids' sake? It's crazy how often moms are judged and shamed for showing love and affection to their own flesh and blood 