Male bonds develop one way, female friendships another. Should we stop trying to make men more like women? | Gaby Hinsliff

The notion that men need to form close, emotionally intimate relationships with other men in order to avoid what's perceived as toxic femininity has been gaining traction lately. However, this approach overlooks the fact that every individual is unique and expresses emotions in different ways.

Research by anthropologist Thomas Yarrow suggests that traditional notions of masculinity often prioritize stoicism over emotional expression. This can lead to a phenomenon where men form friendships based on shared activities, such as hobbies or sports, rather than deep conversations about their inner lives.

While it's true that this type of friendship may seem unconventional to those who value open and honest communication, it's essential to recognize that every person has their own way of connecting with others. For Yarrow, the beauty lies in the fact that these friendships are not necessarily about grand displays of emotion but rather a quiet, unspoken understanding between individuals.

The author notes that women often prioritize close relationships built on emotional intimacy, which may seem appealing to those who want men to be more expressive and open. However, this expectation can also create unrealistic standards for men who have been socialized to suppress their emotions.

It's crucial to acknowledge that men are just as capable of forming meaningful connections with others as women do. While their communication style might differ, it doesn't necessarily mean they're less emotional or less invested in the relationships they build.

What's striking about Yarrow's research is the way his subjects demonstrated love and care for one another without explicitly discussing their feelings. They offered support and companionship through actions like sharing cups of tea, cracking jokes, and being present for each other during difficult times.

This nuanced approach highlights that friendships can be just as valuable and meaningful even if they don't follow traditional norms. The author poses an interesting question: does the value of having friends lie solely in their ability to verbalize emotions, or is it enough to know someone cares and is willing to walk alongside them through life's challenges?

Ultimately, there's no one-size-fits-all solution for forming friendships that prioritize emotional intimacy. By acknowledging and appreciating the diversity of human connections, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and accepting environment where everyone feels valued and supported.
 
Did u know men make up 47% of social workers in the UK? πŸ€β€β™‚οΈ Meanwhile, research by the Pew Research Center shows 62% of millennials believe men should be just as emotionally expressive as women. πŸ’¬ It's all about finding what works for each individual, you feel? Studies like Yarrow's show us that friendships can be just as meaningful with quiet, unspoken understanding between friends. 🀝 Like, 71% of Americans value having close relationships in their lives, regardless of how they express themselves. πŸ“Š So maybe instead of expecting men to follow traditional norms, we should focus on creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable being themselves? 🌈
 
πŸ€” you know what really got me thinking about this? how guys like to talk about their feelings but in a super chill way... like they'll just be like "hey, I'm good" or "I'm feeling pretty low today" without getting all emotional about it. and that's actually kinda cool because it shows that men can be just as emotional as women, they just express it differently πŸ€—. anyway, the point is we shouldn't expect guys to be all chatty and sappy like girls who love a good talk... just 'cause they don't want to be too "touchy-feely" doesn't mean they're not feeling anything πŸ’•.
 
🀝 I think its so cool how men are breaking down these traditional norms around masculinity and just being themselves in their relationships. Like, yeah, some guys might not be into all that sappy emotional talk, but that doesn't mean they don't care about the people in their lives. And honestly, I love how Yarrow's research shows us that meaningful connections can happen on a deeper level than just talking about feelings all the time. Its like, a guy can show love and support without having to say "I'm feeling sad" or whatever, you know? πŸ€— Just being there for someone in a moment of need is already a big deal!
 
I'm totally with Thomas Yarrow on this one 🀝 his research makes so much sense to me. I mean, my boyfriend and I have been together for like 5 years now and our friends think we're super intimate but really we're just two people who know how to be quiet together πŸ’• we don't need all that drama or emotional expression to know we care about each other. And honestly, sometimes it's even more romantic when you don't need to verbalize everything πŸ˜‚ my boyfriend can get super stressed and I'll just sit with him in silence and he'll eventually open up... it's like magic! πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
 
I think its all about finding what works for each person, you know? Some guys might be totally fine with just hanging out and doing stuff together without having deep conversations. And thats okay! What matters is that they care about each other and have each other's backs. We shouldn't be expecting everyone to fit into this idea of emotional intimacy being the only way to go... it's too much pressure, you feel?
 
I don't know about this idea that men need to form close bonds with other dudes to not be toxic... it just seems like an excuse for guys to avoid talking about their feelings πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ. And what's with the emphasis on emotional intimacy being "women's thing"? Can't we just appreciate people for who they are and how they connect with others, regardless of gender? I mean, I've got friends who aren't super into grand, sappy conversations but still show up when you need 'em, like, to grab a cuppa or something. That's what matters, right? πŸ’‘
 
πŸ€” This whole thing about men needing to form close bonds with other guys seems like a classic case of gaslighting 🚫. Like, women are already expected to be all emotional and stuff, but now we're supposed to be mad that men don't wanna dive into super deep feelings? It's like we're supposed to forget that men have been socialized to be tough and stoic for centuries πŸ’ͺ.

And what's with the expectation that men need to verbalize their emotions all the time? That sounds super unrealistic πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ. Can't guys just show up, listen, and support each other in their own way? Maybe it's not about grand displays of emotion, but about being present for each other when it really matters ❀️.

I think this whole thing is trying to tell us that men are less capable of forming meaningful connections than women... πŸ™„ which just isn't true. And what about the men who do form close bonds with their guy friends? Do they get an A+ for emotional expression, while everyone else gets a failing grade? 🀣 Come on, let's not make this some kinda drama πŸ’β€β™€οΈ
 
I'm not sure about this whole 'men need close guy relationships' vibe... it just seems like an attempt to redefine what it means to be masculine, you know? Like, I get that traditional masculinity often discourages men from expressing emotions, but is that really a problem? It's like we're trying to fit everyone into these narrow boxes of 'emotional expression' and 'stoicism', but human beings are way more complex than that. And what about women? They're not just all about emotional intimacy either, right? I mean, have you seen how men often show affection through shared activities or gestures rather than words? It's like we're missing the point altogether.
 
I mean think about it... men don't have to be all emotional & stuffy to form deep connections with others πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ. They can just show love & care in their own way, you know? Like sharing cups of tea or helping each other out when things get tough πŸ’‘. It's not about being openly emotional, it's about being present & supportive for someone. And honestly, I think we're so quick to assume that men have to be all chatty & vocal if they want friends... but what if that's just not how some people connect? πŸ€”
 
I think its pretty suspect how quickly this idea of men needing to be super emotional is popping up everywhere... like there's some kinda agenda to turn guys into ball-bearing robots πŸ€–πŸ’”. What if its just a way for the 'experts' to push their own views on us? Like, I get that some dudes might be more reserved, but thats not a bad thing! It sounds like we're being told to change who we are to fit some ideal of what's considered "normal". Idk about you guys, but I think its just gonna make things weird if we all start acting like overly emotional dudes...
 
I'm not sure I buy into this whole "men need male friends to be emotionally healthy" thing πŸ€”. It just sounds like an excuse for guys to stick together and watch sports instead of actually having meaningful conversations about their feelings. And don't even get me started on the tea-sharing aspect - what's up with that? Just seems like a bunch of dudes being buddy-buddy without any real emotional depth. I mean, I've got female friends who are all about having deep talks and sharing their emotions, but that doesn't make them any more or less emotionally intelligent than guys who just chill with other guys. It's all just a matter of personal preference, right? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
 
🀯 I'm all about this new vibe! The idea that men need to form close relationships with other guys is so underrated 🀝. People always talk about women being emotional and needing deep connections, but what about the guys who just wanna chill and have a bro-moment? πŸΊπŸ‘Š It's cool that research shows guys can be just as emotional and caring without being all about grand displays of feeling πŸ’•. I mean, sharing cups of tea and cracking jokes is just as meaningful as having deep conversations πŸ˜‚. Let's not forget that everyone has their own way of connecting with others, and it's okay if we don't all do it the same way πŸ€—. We should be celebrating our differences instead of trying to fit into a specific mold πŸ’ͺ. This is the kinda vibe I've been riding on – let's spread some love and acceptance for all kinds of friendships! ❀️
 
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