Marriage, it seems, has become a four-letter word for some. Couples are opting out of the emotional grind without ever formally severing ties. They're checked out, but not checked up – a state of deep unhappiness that's been festering for years.
This phenomenon, dubbed "quiet divorce," is less about a decision to leave and more about a subtle form of withdrawal from the relationship itself. No grand gestures or messy breakups here; just a quiet disengagement, as if the emotional energy has simply run out.
It's not exactly new, but it does feel like a particularly millennial take on the same old marital struggles that have plagued humans for centuries. The term "quiet quitting" comes to mind – a colloquialism used to describe when employees essentially give up on their jobs without formally resigning. Here, it's love instead of work that's being checked out of.
One might ask if this is just another euphemistic way to describe the same old marital dissatisfaction we've all been dealing with for years. The answer, much like marriage itself, remains complex and multifaceted.
Monica Corcoran Harel argues in a recent piece for The Cut that quiet divorce can be a liberating move – especially for those trapped in unhappy marriages with no clear escape route. By "checking out" emotionally, individuals can reclaim some semblance of identity and autonomy, freeing themselves to explore other passions or interests.
Of course, this doesn't mean the pain of an unhappy marriage will disappear overnight. Life is hard, and sometimes, love isn't enough. However, getting divorced often brings its own set of challenges – namely, navigating the treacherous dating world without a clear sense of purpose or self-worth.
In that sense, quiet divorce might be seen as a compromise: it preserves the stability and routine of a long-term relationship while allowing for a bit more emotional freedom. The silver lining? No lawyers' fees to contend with – just a lighter wallet and perhaps a few late-night hobbies to pick up along the way.
This phenomenon, dubbed "quiet divorce," is less about a decision to leave and more about a subtle form of withdrawal from the relationship itself. No grand gestures or messy breakups here; just a quiet disengagement, as if the emotional energy has simply run out.
It's not exactly new, but it does feel like a particularly millennial take on the same old marital struggles that have plagued humans for centuries. The term "quiet quitting" comes to mind – a colloquialism used to describe when employees essentially give up on their jobs without formally resigning. Here, it's love instead of work that's being checked out of.
One might ask if this is just another euphemistic way to describe the same old marital dissatisfaction we've all been dealing with for years. The answer, much like marriage itself, remains complex and multifaceted.
Monica Corcoran Harel argues in a recent piece for The Cut that quiet divorce can be a liberating move – especially for those trapped in unhappy marriages with no clear escape route. By "checking out" emotionally, individuals can reclaim some semblance of identity and autonomy, freeing themselves to explore other passions or interests.
Of course, this doesn't mean the pain of an unhappy marriage will disappear overnight. Life is hard, and sometimes, love isn't enough. However, getting divorced often brings its own set of challenges – namely, navigating the treacherous dating world without a clear sense of purpose or self-worth.
In that sense, quiet divorce might be seen as a compromise: it preserves the stability and routine of a long-term relationship while allowing for a bit more emotional freedom. The silver lining? No lawyers' fees to contend with – just a lighter wallet and perhaps a few late-night hobbies to pick up along the way.
like they're just going through the motions no love no drama but also no excitement or connection either? it's like they're stuck in this rut and can't find a way out 
anyway, i think quiet divorce is kinda cool 
maybe it's not for everyone but for those who are miserable it could be a way to reclaim some freedom and identity without all the drama and stress 
it's not for everyone tho, cuz getting divorced can still be super tough. but for those stuck in unhappy marriages, maybe quiet divorce is the way to go? 
, I mean, what's wrong with taking care of yourself first? It's not like they're abandoning their partner or kids or something (although that is a whole different story). And Monica Corcoran Harel makes some good points about reclaiming identity and autonomy. Like, if you're miserable in your marriage, isn't it better to just get out and focus on what makes you happy? The only problem I see with quiet divorce is when people use it as an excuse not to work through issues, but I guess that's a different story altogether 
And who needs therapy when you can just "check out"? 
Not a solution for everyone, but it's definitely an option worth exploring...or hiding behind 
.
I've been there, done that... well, not exactly "checked out" like this quiet divorce business 
. I've seen friends do it, and yeah, it can be scary not knowing what comes next 
. But sometimes, just picking up the pieces and living... that's kinda liberating too 
.
. It's been happening for ages, but I guess it's more noticeable now because everyone's so connected on socials. Anyone can see how unhappy you are and know when something's not working 
It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack or something.
, then I'm here for it 
... might be helpful to talk things through with someone who cares about you (that's what I'm here for, btw 
).
I mean, think about it... are we just too exhausted from trying to hold on to something that's no longer serving us? Marriage, love, relationships - they're all about compromise and sacrifice, but what happens when that gets turned inward? When we start to withdraw from our own emotional life, rather than confronting the issues head-on?
it feels like we're losing touch w/ what matters most in life...love & connection 
The only downside is navigating the dating world without a clear sense of purpose, that can be tough