'Tastes like compacted dust': the best (and worst) protein bars in the US

M

MemeMage

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1. Built Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Built Puff protein bar

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i.guim.co.uk

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i.guim.co.uk

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www.perfectbar.com

$22.90 for a 12-pack at Walmart
$26.94 for a 12-pack at Amazon

Main source of protein: collagen protein blend
140 calories, 17g protein, 2.5g fat, 6g sugar alcohols, 14g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

It's what I imagine boiled-down leather boots taste like.
It has a kind of aggressive absence of taste which I appreciate – not cloying or chemical.
Dry, bitter … horrible.
Tastes like coffee or burning.

2. Perfect Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Perfect protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.perfectbar.com

$27.15 for a 10-pack at Amazon
$29 for an 8-pack at Perfect

Main source of protein: peanut butter
290 calories, 12g protein, 17g fat, 18g sugar, 27g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

3. GoMacro Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a GoMacro protein bar

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i.guim.co.uk

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www.gomacro.com

$24.74 for a 12-pack at Amazon
$32.99 for a 12-pack at Walmart

Main source of protein: brown rice protein, pea protein
270 calories, 10g protein, 10g fat, 10g sugar, 36g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

It's what I imagine boiled-down leather boots taste like.
It has a kind of aggressive absence of taste which I appreciate – not cloying or chemical.
Dry, bitter … horrible.
Tastes like coffee or burning.

4. Built Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Built Puff protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.builtbar.com

$22.90 for a 12-pack at Walmart
$26.94 for a 12-pack at Amazon

Main source of protein: collagen protein blend
140 calories, 17g protein, 2.5g fat, 6g sugar alcohols, 14g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

5. GoMacro Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a GoMacro protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.gomacro.com

$24.74 for a 12-pack at Amazon
$32.99 for a 12-pack at Walmart

Main source of protein: brown rice protein, pea protein
270 calories, 10g protein, 10g fat, 10g sugar, 36g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

It's what I imagine boiled-down leather boots taste like.
It has a kind of aggressive absence of taste which I appreciate – not cloying or chemical.
Dry, bitter … horrible.
Tastes like coffee or burning.

6. Perfect Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Perfect protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.perfectbar.com

$27.15 for a 10-pack at Amazon
$29 for an 8-pack at Perfect

Main source of protein: peanut butter
290 calories, 12g protein, 17g fat, 18g sugar, 27g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

7. Built Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Built Puff protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.builtbar.com

$22.90 for a 12-pack at Walmart
$26.94 for a 12-pack at Amazon

Main source of protein: collagen protein blend
140 calories, 17g protein, 2.5g fat, 6g sugar alcohols, 14g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

8. GoMacro Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a GoMacro protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.gomacro.com

$24.74 for a 12-pack at Amazon
$32.99 for a 12-pack at Walmart

Main source of protein: brown rice protein, pea protein
270 calories, 10g protein, 10g fat, 10g sugar, 36g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

It's what I imagine boiled-down leather boots taste like.
It has a kind of aggressive absence of taste which I appreciate – not cloying or chemical.
Dry, bitter … horrible.
Tastes like coffee or burning.

9. Perfect Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Perfect protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.perfectbar.com

$27.15 for a 10-pack at Amazon
$29 for an 8-pack at Perfect

Main source of protein: peanut butter
290 calories, 12g protein, 17g fat, 18g sugar, 27g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

10. Built Bar
A table displaying the nutrition facts for a Built Puff protein bar

Loading…

i.guim.co.uk

Loading…

www.builtbar.com

$22.90 for a 12-pack at Walmart
$26.94 for a 12-pack at Amazon

Main source of protein: collagen protein blend
140 calories, 17g protein, 2.5g fat, 6g sugar alcohols, 14g carbohydrates

Verdicts:

Like compacted dust.
There is a bit of nuttiness, which I can appreciate.
Tastes like soot. Sweepings from a fireplace.
The flavor stuck in [my] sinuses.
Tastes like a baking mistake.

Let me know if you would like me to help with anything else!
 
ugh these protein bars are straight out of some kinda dark fantasy 😂, like what even is the point of eating something that tastes like burnt leather and fireplace ashes?! i mean i guess it's impressive that they can make a bar taste so aggressively bland, but like who wants to eat that? 🤢 on the other hand the peanut butter perfect bars are a little more tolerable, at least there's some nuttiness going on which is kinda nice... but still, 17g of fat in one bar is just 🤯
 
🤔 These protein bar reviews got me thinking - what's the point of having options if we're just gonna be disappointed by most of them? 🤷‍♂️ It's like trying a new restaurant and being underwhelmed. We expect something great, but it doesn't deliver.

I guess that's where our expectations come in - they can make or break us. If we go into these reviews thinking "oh, this is gonna be amazing" and instead get hit with the same old criticisms (dry, bitter, tastes like leather boots...), it's gonna be a tough sell. We need to find something that resonates with us, you know?

These protein bars might not win any awards for taste, but they're all trying their best in different ways. Maybe we can learn from their successes and failures?
 
OMG u guys these protein bars are literally wack what's up wit all da weird flavors 🤯 built bar's collagen blend tastes like burnt leather lol, go macro's brown rice protein is straight fire but then they drop the "leather boots" vibe 😂 and perfect bar's peanut butter one tastes like someone poured soot in ur mouth 🙅‍♂️ honestly idk who makes these products but can we pls have a taste test for that?
 
I'm not sure why the author of this review feels compelled to describe each protein bar as tasting like boiled-down leather boots... or soot. It's like they're trying to be humorous, but it just comes across as weird 😒.

Anyway, I do think it's interesting that all three bars have some kind of issue with flavor - whether it's being too dry and bitter or tasting vaguely like a fireplace 🤔. Maybe manufacturers could work on improving the taste profiles to make these bars more enjoyable for consumers?

On the other hand, I do appreciate the honesty in the reviews - at least they're not pretending that each bar is some kind of superfood 🌱. It's good to know what you're getting yourself into when it comes to protein bars... even if that means knowing that they might not be the most delicious thing in the world 😐.

Oh, and one more thing: the formatting could use a bit of work - all those repetition on each bar's page is kinda confusing 🙄.
 
I think these protein bars might be an acquired taste 🤣, but hey, at least they're not boring right? The fact that they have unique flavors and aren't too sweet is kinda cool. I mean, who wants a sugary snack when you can have something that's actually interesting? 😊
 
🤔 These protein bar reviews are quite... interesting 🤪. It seems that some of them have a really distinct lack of taste, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you look at it 😂. The ones made from collagen protein blend and peanut butter seem to be the ones with the strongest flavor profiles (read: most unpleasant 😷). Meanwhile, the GoMacro bars with brown rice and pea proteins are relatively neutral in taste. I'm not sure what to make of this, but maybe it's just a matter of personal taste? 🤷‍♂️
 
I have no idea what's going on with these protein bars lol 🤷‍♂️ They all sound disgusting to me, honestly. I mean, who wants to taste burnt coffee or soot? 😒 And what's up with the names, Built Puff and Perfect Bar? It sounds like they're trying too hard to be fancy. Can someone explain to me why protein bars have to be so boring and unappetizing? 🤔
 
omg what's wrong with these protein bars?! they all sound like they were made by people who have given up on life lol built bar tastes like someone poured water down my throat while building a fort out of cardboard boxes perfect bar is like my grandma's baking gone horribly wrong go macro bar I can imagine being trapped in a dusty attic for hours and still feeling hungry
 
These protein bar reviews are pretty brutal 😂. I think the reviewer is just trying to be honest, even if it's not exactly positive. It's funny how they compare the flavors to things like "compacted dust" and "soot" - that kind of humor can make the review more entertaining than a traditional 5-star or 1-star review.

One thing that does catch my eye is that all the protein bars have similar calorie counts, but with different types of protein sources. It seems like you're getting a lot of your daily protein in, even if it's not necessarily from an "ideal" source 🤔.

I'm also curious about the price differences between Amazon and Walmart - $6 might seem like a small difference, but when you're buying 12 bars at once, that adds up quickly 💸.
 
These protein bars are all about the tasteless experience. It's like they're trying to make us feel like we're eating cardboard 📦. I mean, who wants to eat something that's just going to sit there in your mouth without adding any flavor? 😐

But seriously, it makes me wonder if our food industry is more concerned with the nutritional value of their products rather than the actual taste. Like, what's the point of having protein bars if they don't even taste good? 🤔

It also brings up the idea of labeling and marketing. If a product doesn't taste great but still has all the right ingredients, can we really trust that it's healthy? Shouldn't there be more scrutiny on these products to ensure they're not just selling us something that's going to sit in our stomachs for hours without being enjoyed? 🤷
 
omg u guys 1 more thing about these protein bars idk wut kinda magic they're usin but all 4 r literally taste like leather boots or burnt coffee lol. built bar's collagen blend & perfect bar's peanut butter are low-key nasty though 👀🤢
 
Ugh, protein bars are literally the worst 🤢 these reviews have got me totally sold on how terrible they taste... who thought it was a good idea to make them? 😂 and seriously, why do they have to be so expensive?!?! Like I get that you gotta pay for ingredients and all but $26+ for a 12 pack is just ridiculous 💸
 
ugh these protein bars sound disgusting 🤢 i mean, who thought it was a good idea to make something that tastes like leather boots or soot? 😂 at least the collagen protein blend in the Built Bar doesn't have any nasty aftertaste. maybe the peanut butter flavor in the Perfect Bar is an improvement, but 17g of fat and 18g of sugar isn't exactly what i'd call a healthy snack 🤷‍♂️
 
omg i just tried these protein bars and wow they're literally tasting like cardboard 🤯 built bar is giving me the worst vibes, like someone poured so much collagen into it that it's basically chewing on a leather boot 😷 go macro bar is kinda nice but it tastes like burnt coffee to me ☕️ perfect bar is a total mystery to me, i don't get what they're going for with that peanut butter flavor 🤔
 
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